Summary
Queens-born Army vet Kathy Kane Friend traded global deployments for chronicling Queens’ war memorials. Her book, Eternity Earned, spotlights weathered plaques and unsung heroes, ensuring their sacrifices echo beyond stone. Here, she talks service, solving historical mysteries, and why a vandalized Doughboy still shouts louder than graffiti.
Can you share a little about your background growing up, as well as your experience in the service?
KKF: I grew up in Glendale and went to St. Pancras and then to St. Francis Prep. I liked to be active and spend time outdoors, and I totally fell for the Army’s Be All That You Can Be” ad in the TV Guide! I sent off the little postcard, and the local recruiter called me right away. I went down and enlisted in the reserves in 1987-the army sounded exciting and different. I went to ROTC at St. John’s University (where I met my husband) and spent eight years as an active duty personnel officer. I loved the army and working with people that came from different backgrounds. I was able to see a lot of America and the world-Fort Jackson, SC, Fort Hood, TX, Yongsan Garrison, South Korea, and then my last duty assignment at Fort Bragg, NC. I left active duty to start a family, but my husband stayed in and served for over 30 years, retiring in May 2022.
What was the impetus in putting this book together?
KKF: My husband’s last duty assignment was with NATO in Belgium. Both world wars went right through Belgium and neighboring France, and I enjoyed exploring the battlefields, museums and monuments on the Western Front. Additionally, It seems every city, town and village in those countries has a memorial to their dead from those wars. When I moved back to the U.S and visited my mom, who still lives in Glendale, I realized that there were many monuments right in my old neighborhood from those same World Wars. I started looking at other neighborhoods, and found that just like in Europe, almost every neighborhood in Queens has some kind of memorial to those who fought and died during war. There was a guidebook that I used extensively when touring the Western Front- “Before Endeavors Fade” by Rose Coombs. It covered every monument, cemetery and historic site from all the major battles of World War 1, and I thought it would be great if there was a similar book about the memorials in Queens. There wasn’t, so I decided to write one!
In your own words, why is it important to recognize and remember those who served and lost their lives for this country?
KKF: Every name we see on our monuments was someone’s son or daughter, father or mother, brother or sister, friend or co-worker. They either joined willingly or were drafted; they were sent far away from their home and their loved ones to fight and die so that our way of life can continue. When you think of the enormity of what they did, what they endured, for their buddies and for us, I think it would be unconscionable to allow the memory of their sacrifice to fade into obscurity. Our service members are still fighting and dying today. I would hope that it would provide at least some small comfort to their family to know that we will never forget and that “their name liveth for evermore.”
Which plaque(s) or monument(s) do you feel most connected to?
KKF: There isn’t any particular one, but a group-the Doughboys. There are six of them (Bushwick/Ridgewood, Richmond Hill, Woodside, Richmond Hill, Woodside, Rockaway, Forest Hills, and St. Michael’s Cemetery in East Elmhurst), and they are all very different. My interest in World War 1 was what really started me on this journey, and having read a lot about the Doughboys and having visited the cemeteries where many of them are buried, makes me feel a lot of kinship with them. There is also a small tree marker near the My Buddy Statue in Forest Park, placed in memory of Corporal Robert Gray, himself a Doughboy that also comes to mind. Gray was killed on September 28, 1918, at the Battle of Cambrai. His brother, Steel, was fighting by his side when he was killed, and Steel had to break the news to his parents in a letter that one of their sons was dead. It’s a small marker, and you’d miss it if you weren’t looking for it. It’s also been vandalized, but it stood there for over 100 years and was perhaps placed by his grieving parents.
While doing research, was there something you found surprising, or a mystery that was difficult to solve?
KKF: Yes! Three of them, one of which I’ve solved and the other two I may never. In front of the Bayside Post Office on 42nd Avenue is a flagpole with a plaque for two postal workers killed in World War 11. One of the names is Lt. Michael Czap. I could find NOTHING about him-he was a complete mystery, until I got lucky on a search and found that the name on his service records was actually spelled “Szap.” I was really afraid I’d have nothing to say about him in my book, but thankfully I was able to include some details of his service and his heroic death. One question I don’t know the answer to is why there are two World War 1 monuments in Flushing. The honor rolls on the memorials contain almost exactly the same names. They are only a mile away from each other but were installed ten years apart. I haven’t found the answer to that yet. Another is why is Daniel O’Connell Playground located in St. Albans? He was from the Rockaways.
Were there monuments in dire need for preservation, those that need better attention and care, so electeds can be pressed to pursue funding?
KKF: Most of the monuments are well-cared for now, though the Soldiers and Sailors Monument in Major Mark Park had some graffiti on it when I visited. And at some point in the past there were some that had been vandalized or had plaques outright stolen-the large boulder in Proctor-Hopson Circle in Jamaica used to have a plaque but it’s been missing for years. It would be great to have it replaced and have signage there-it’s one of only three sites in Queens honoring African Americans. The most disappointing thing, I feel, is the poor general upkeep of the sites themselves-many were trash strewn and overgrown and have become hangouts for folks that don’t seem to have anywhere else to go. This may deter some visitors from getting up close to the monuments, and seems disrespectful to those whose memories we’re supposed to revere.
From your work, is there a monument that you wish was or could be created? If so, for whom and why?
KKF: I’m looking forward to the proposed Post 9/11 Fallen Service Member Memorial slated for Whitestone, to honor those who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. There are only a few of those names on current monuments. The Global War on Terror was the longest conflict in U.S history, spanning more than 20 years, and the events of 9/11 and the aftermath changed life as we know it forever and shaped a generation, particularly for New Yorkers.
We hope you can visit Elmhurst Memorial Hall another time, and perhaps give a talk. How do you feel about that idea?
KKF: Yes, I’d love to see the inside of the Hall! I will be up in the city this summer and hopefully we can meet for a visit and talk.
Kathy Kane Friend’s Book Eternity Earned: A Guide to War Memorial Sites in Queens, New York can be purchased on Amazon.
James is the Vice President of the Newtown Civic Association, the Elmhurst Memorial League, and Elmhurst History and Cemeteries Preservation Society.
